Having a scary day!!!!

Posted by mld79

22 Feb 2013

Today I wake in pain after a broken nites sleep, after my right knee twisted on wed, on my good leg obviously nothings simple! I've been having to depend more on my 2 elbow crutches, so now my upper body including my frozen shoulder(Which I think is arthritis) is pure agony! I think ahh well I'm at docs today, only my doc is on the first floor, I suffer severe complex PTSD following a fall down a flight of concrete steps sorry if there is a missspelling I must typed that bit fast andnow wont re read it, I went up in lift with my hubby door opens and I start to panic, slowly at first then it increass to the point I'm on the floor hyperventilating and crying hysterically thinking I'm going to die. Doctor was fantastic calmed me right down (ish) I was still shaking violently through the appointment which was meant to be a monthly check on my fibro and other things, ended up with him telling me the most urgent thing is the PTSD, I understand what he's saying but I want the pain levels and meds discussed and sorted more,,! The thing is tho I totally avoid being in a situation when I can see or come across the offending things, to the point I dont watch tv anymore! I feel zo desperate and dysfunctional, useless, lump of pain, I think I need to book a flight to switzerland!!! Not happy, and scared of my own actions, never felt like this before! X

And I'm only 33 yrs old can I really face god knows how many more years of this horrendous, no quality of life of pain, panic, fatigue, and attempted sleep!

3 comments

ladymoth Volunteer

22 Feb 2013

Well, my dear - you know what they say - when you've reached rock-bottom, the only way is up!
You're obviously feeling very bad right now, but at least you've asked for help, which is a good thing.
I'm sure your doctor is right when he says the PTSD is a big factor, because it's preventing you from doing other healing things, but your pain must also be a major problem for you.

If you can sit calmly and write a list of your troubles, then try to get them in your order of priority, you could take that with you to see the doctor.
In that way, if you're incoherent, panicky or whatever, at least you will be able to give him your list so that he can see where you're coming from.

If going to your GP causes a panic, see if you can get a home visit, or at least get him to give you a sedative to take before you set out.
I understand your wretchedness, but if you deal with your problems one at a time, you will find your way out and be content again - even if you don't regain your full health.

Don't give up and go to Switzerland - it's not all it's cracked up to be, and besides we need you here!

Take care, and think of tomorrow as the first day of your recovery.
Let us know how you get on, we'll all be thinking of you

Love and best wishes ... Moffy x

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Very-Grumpy Volunteer

22 Feb 2013

Great advice by Moffy..
Take each day at a time and let us know how you are getting on
VG x

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mld79

22 Feb 2013

Thank u, Moffy,

I'm gonna have to pick myself up, with the help of my wonderful hubby, who's putting up with sooooo much, he really is proof in the pudding for the vow 'in sickness and in health'.

I have a appointment on the19th of march to a a very fibro friendly rheumatologist, so hopefully get some info then, I'm also on the waiting list for psychotherapy assessment to hopefully target my PTSD, aside from my hubby I have the number for out of hours cpn service locally If I start to feel worse than now,

Thanks again for ur kind reply xxx

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